Moana (TheBenOyler Style)
Synopsis Help Timon and Pumbaa explore the journey of Disney's Moana to get a backstory of the movie within a story! Airings * November 23, 2016 (Theaters) * March 7, 2017 (Disney DVD) * October 15, 2018 (Moana 1½ and Only in TheBenOyler on YouTube) Transcript Timon and Pumbaa at the Cinema: Moana {The video begins to show Walt Disney Pictures, Walt Disney Animation Studios and Pixar Animation Studios logos.} Timon: Well, enough of that. {He holds up a remote control and begins fast-forwarding through the movie} {Camera pulls back to show Timon and Pumbaa in silhouette in a row of theater seats, Mystery Science Theater 3000-style.} Pumbaa: Uh... Timon, what are you doing? Timon: I'm fast-forwarding to the part where we come in! Pumbaa: {aghast} But you can't go out of order! Timon: Au contraire, my porcine pal. I've got the remote! Pumbaa: But everyone's gonna get confused! {He grabs a second, bigger remote} We gotta go back to the beginning of the story. {He begins rewinding the movie} Timon: We're not in the beginning of the story! {He pauses the movie on Maui as a bird with a monkey screech, the movie begins fast-forwarding again} Pumbaa: Yes, we were! The whole time. {rewinds; the film reverses on a shot of Moana getting her foot stuck in coral with a squawk of confusion} Timon: Yeah, but they don't know that! {indicates the audience; switches the movie direction again, on Moana's grandmother, with a lion-roar sound} Pumbaa: Then why don't we tell them our story? {pauses the movie on a snarling close-up of Te Kā; Timon and Pumbaa both shriek and dive under their seats} Timon: {slowly re-emerging} Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we tell him our story? Pumbaa: Oh, I like the sound of that. Timon: A little backstage tour. Take 'em behind the scenes for a revealing and intimate look at the story within the story! Pumbaa: 'Cause what they don't know is how we really were there even though they didn't know we were there, you know? Timon: Couldn't have said it better myself! {rewinds the movie again} Pumbaa: So does this mean we're going back to the beginning? Timon: {melodramatically} Oh, no, Pumbaa. No. We're going way back... to before the beginning. When I Was Young... Timon: Pumbaa, how can Te Kā be huge? He's Te Kā! Pumbaa: Well I think it's because oceans tide over Te Kā. Timon: Oh, sure. Waves tide them over Te Kā. Where I come from we didn't have nothin' to be proud of. Why: {clears throat; singing} When I was a young hula lady... Pumbaa: {singing} When she was a young HULA LADY...! {blows Timon off his seatback} Timon: {peevishly} Very nice. Pumbaa: Thanks! Timon: But maybe it'd be safer if I just show 'em where I came from. Pumbaa: Oh, boy! Do we get to see where you grew up? Timon: Yeah, Pumbaa. But it ain't pretty. Pumbaa Sitting on the Remote {Moana is interrupted by Doogal and Pumbaa is sitting on the remote.} Timon: Hey, what's going on? Pumbaa, you're sitting on the remote! Pumbaa: Huh? Oh, sorry. I thought it was a brownie. No Fortune Cookies Timon: How convenient. Enter omniscient grandmother right on cue. Pumbaa: Well, you know what they say. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Timon: That's it. No more fortune cookies for you. {clicks the remote; the movie resumes} Look Fat Pumbaa: You really think I look fat? Timon: {sighs} Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa. You're a pig! It's a compliment. Pumbaa: Thank you. Pumbaa Pauses Moana to Get Some Grubs Pumbaa: You mind if I pause it for a second? Timon: Sure, go ahead. Pumbaa: Be right back! {Timon cracks his neck one way and then the other, grunting. As Pumbaa clatters off-screen, Timon scratches in his ear, sniffs, hums "It's a Small World After All", and casually picks his nose. Just as the sound of a popcorn popper comes to a stop, Timon pulls out a big booger, which squishes between his fingertips. He gasps as he realizes Pumbaa is coming back. He frantically looks for a tissue; seeing none, he tries to shake it off his hand, then to flick it off. Finally he wipes it on the seat just as Pumbaa returns, with a huge bag of bugs.} Pumbaa: Okay, I got the jumbo so we could share. {He pauses for a beat, as he realizes Timon is just sitting there stock-still.} ...Were you just picking your nose? Timon: {indignantly} Nooo, I had an itch on the inside! {He grabs some bugs and chows down, then clicks the remote.} Timon Crying Pumbaa: {shocked} Timon? Are you crying? Timon: I'm fine! {sobbing uncontrollaby} I...I just have something in my eye. Pumbaa: {holding out a hanky} Here, blow. Timon: Ohh. {blows his nose; hands the hanky back} Here, Pumbaa. Pumbaa: {sarcastically} Gee, thanks. Timon: {getting a hold of himself} Okay. I'm better. Where's the Grub? Timon: {quietly} Pumbaa... where's the grub? Pumbaa: Puhh. {opens his mouth; the ladybug staggers out, all mauled up} Timon: {exasperated} Ohhh. You just can't help yourself, can you? Pumbaa: Sorry. Timon: Okay... but this time, show a little self control. Running Timon: What was with the running? If you can call that running. Pumbaa: I was giving you time to catch up! Timon: You big lug. Timon and Pumbaa Rewind Moana Timon: {narrating as the camera continues to truck out, ending with the silhouettes and the theater seats} Well, that's it. The big wrap-up, the happy ending, the grand finale. Pumbaa: {whimpering} It's over already? Timon: Well, Pumbaa. That's the thing about endings. They come at the end. Pumbaa: {brightening} Ooh! Can we watch it again? Timon: Pumbaa, we just saw it. Maybe tomorrow. Ma: {entering in silhouette} Hey, what are you guys doing? {gasps as she sees the screen} You didn't tell me you were watching the movie! I wanna watch too! Timon: Ma, we just finished. Show's over. Ma: Well, you're just gonna have to rewind it! {grabs Pumbaa's big remote and begins rewinding} Timon: {pained} Ma! Ma: {calling offscreen} Uncle Max! We're gonna watch the movie! Timon: {despairing} Oh, no! Uncle Max: {entering, carrying a box of popcorn} Hey, I brought extra butter. Simba: {entering, walking along the seatbacks} Hey, you guys are watching the movie? Rafiki: {swinging in on vines} Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Any story worth telling is worth telling twice. {The silhouette of Mickey Mouse walks in and sits down.} Timon: What the... {Snow White comes in, followed by the Dwarfs.} Snow White: Oh, excuse me... Happy: 'Scuse me. Sneezy: 'Scuse me. Doc: 'Scuse me. Sleepy: 'Scuse me. Bashful: 'Scuse me. Grumpy: Get outta the way. Timon: Who is this crowd? {The Genie flies in and sits down in the middle, followed by Aladdin and Jasmine on the flying carpet; Belle, the Beast, Mrs. Potts and Chip, Lady and the Tramp, and the Hippo from "Fantasia" are also seated in this row.} Timon: Hey! Down in front! {In another row, Goofy, the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and Donald Duck are sitting; Stitch crawls down the wall and jumps from head to head until he gets to a vacant seat.} Stitch: Oho! Goofy: Gawrsh! Stitch: Aloha! Donald Duck: {unintelligible squawking; he makes fists at Stitch} {In still another row, Quasimodo and Pocahontas sit at opposite ends of the row; Peter Pan flies in, followed by Tinker Bell, and imitates a rooster's crow. The Lost Boys all pile in, shouting. Switch to Timon's row, where he's holding two large bodies apart to keep them from squashing him.} Timon: Watch it! {straining} Unnnh! {Timon's row has Terk, Dumbo, Brer Bear, Mowgli, Baloo, the three gargoyles, and the three fairy godmothers from "Sleeping Beauty"; Terk and Victor the gargoyle squeeze together, and Timon squirts out from between them like a watermelon seed. He lands next to Pumbaa as the movie, still rewinding, nears the beginning.} Timon: {resigned} Okay, buddy. You win. Pumbaa: Sure you don't mind? Timon: {sincere} Hakuna Matata. {stops rewinding and sees the Walt Disney Pictures logo} Pumbaa: But Timon... {fades to darkness} I still don't do so well in crowds! Quotes Category:Timon and Pumbaa at the Movies Segments Category:Go!Animate The Movie Wiki